THIS TENT SAVES LIVES

Pill testing doesn’t encourage drug use. It prevents death. That’s the message conservative politicians can’t seem to understand.

Pill testing (aka Drug-Checking) was trialed at Victorian music festivals this summer.

When James Newbury MP opposition member of the Victorian parliament opposed the government’s trial of pill-testing at music festivals, he wrung his hands pleaded for us all to think of the children, “As a community leader,” he said, “the Premier made a wrong choice in saying, ‘I approve as Premier children having access to drugs.’” He went on to claim the government was effectively telling kids, “Use drugs when we test them.”

According to James, setting up a lab tent to prevent people from dying is the same as racking up lines of ketamine for a 12yo.

As with most things, James’ opinion on pill testing ignores reality in favour of moral panic and imaginary scenes of drug-fuelled toddlers lost to their families because of society-hating lefties. He’s not arguing with facts—he’s arguing with a version of the world that only exists in Daily Mail headlines and out-of-touch, moralistic speeches.

The government isn’t encouraging children to take drugs. It’s running a trial so people already planning to take drugs can check what’s in them before they take them. This isn’t radical—it's common sense. Since 2021, five state coroners have called for this, including Victorian Coroner Paresa Spanos. It’s backed by the Royal Australian College of GPs, the AMA, the Pharmaceutical Society, the Alcohol and Drug Foundation—and two-thirds of the Australian public.

So what’s going on with conservatives like James? Why do they keep parroting the tired line that pill testing “sends the wrong message” or “encourages drug use”?

Young People don’t trek into a music festival thinking, “Gee, I wasn’t gonna take drugs, but now that I know there’s a lab tent, gimme the baggie!” That’s not how any of this works.

“In 2022–2023, around 1 in 3 people aged 18–24 (35%) or around 800,000 people had used an illicit drug in the previous 12 months”, and for the first time, Illicit use of drugs was higher among young women than young men.

Drug use is much higher at music festivals than in the general population. A recent survey of 2,305 people at 23 Victorian festivals found that half had recently used drugs, and a quarter planned to use them at the next event.

People take drugs. Always have. Always will. The question is whether they die doing it.

Most festival-goers are already carrying drugs when they show up—and often buy more there. If your kid were about to eat something off the street, you’d want them to know what was in it first. You’d want them to check it wasn’t laced, spiked, or deadly. That’s basic parenting. That’s just being human.

Unless, of course, you’re a conservative politician. Then apparently, you’d rather they didn’t eat it—but if they do and die, that’s just tough love.

Thankfully, the Victorian opposition party couldn’t piss in a bucket without soaking their shoes.

This is the level of deranged logic we’re up against.

Pill testing saves lives. That’s not a theory—it’s backed by years of hard data here and overseas. People test their drugs, find out they’ve got something dodgy, and choose not to take it. That’s it. That’s the win. That’s a life not lost.

And yet, for this act of basic self-preservation, they’re met with pearl-clutching outrage from people who still think Nancy Reagan had a point.

Saying pill testing encourages drug use is like saying condoms encourage sex or sunscreen encourages sunbathing. It’s willfully, profoundly stupid—sacrificing real lives on the altar of imaginary moral purity.

If you want to know more about how pill testing works, check out our free microlearning course. Sharps Shooter Quick Hits: A Guide to Pill Testing